RETRYING

there is a rusty coffee can that i pass twice a day. i want to stop each time to pick it up. but it has become a relic. a place marker for the day. this bedroom is bigger than my first dorm. and i'm paid to live in it with wireless internet. now. i realize this sounds killer. however, it's hard to do as little work possible in this wilderness. always someone. always something. mental exhaustion and sleep deprivation are constant irritants for me. i want to scream and sleep for days. but i know my body will wake at seven am and do it all again.

the fourth of july was spent unlike every other. without someone to lay next to. so i laid on my back to watch thirty overpriced mortars liftoff over the swimming pool. the ashes fell on our heads. and the last boom was a silencer for us all to sleep.

i'm looking forward to my day off on wednesday. i crave things bad for me. but have great restraint with a clear head, finally.

soon! snugahohido