TRYING TO GET IT ALL DOWN

had a sendoff for my roommate who is going to be gone for three weeks during expedition in utah and colorado. the house will surely miss her. and her dog is already fully depressed.
had an interesting job interview via skype. i'm not sure how i feel about the whole idea, as i come across quite differently when broken into pieces and put together on a screen. i tried my best to express what i was looking for and why i was good for the job. it was definitely the shortest interview i've had. very very basic questions. not sure what to think about it when the place has never had an intern and she didn't really know how to answer my questions. but damn it i'd love to bike around the pacific northwest or belgium. ya know.

most of the day spent doing homework that is due next week since i'll be away in the smokies. the school of education library is peaceful. and two minutes away. at the union, adventureland was playing for free. i've wanted to see the movie and was happy about it. there was an absurd line. like three hundred people piled in to see this stupid movie with the girl from twilight. well, it was cute. nick and nora kind of cute. the boy meets girl, girl has issues, boy falls. i really can’t complain with multiple kristen stewart love scenes. shit, i got to see a nine dollar movie for frees.

drove to bedford to pick up a dresser. this womans house is huge with only three people living in it. we walk in the door and she's knocked out. trying to wake her, her eyes open and she wobbles her head. completely sleeping with eyes open. catatonic craziness that i've never seen before. this is what happens with lack of sleep, something i hope never becomes routine. maybe because i woke up this morning with a smile. we all dream, don't we?

WE JUST WANT MORE

so here's the sitch. everyone around me is flipping out in some way. typically i would feed off of it and do the same. but i'm feeling grounded with plans and schedules. i know i don't have a seasonal job for the summer yet. i've been away from home the past three. why not keep it going? spending my birthday with strangers and acquaintances isn't so bad. my focus is on the future. i'll be there pretty soon.

i don't expect anything. and i don't ask for anything from anyone. i just want to make a move. bold and great, the kind you'd never expect from me. wanting more.

last night i dreamt i was in cyprus. sipping turkish tea. and i shaved my head. my sleeping self was thinking bald cypress and that's how it goes down. i really don't want to buzz my head.

ELECTRIC EELS I MIGHT ADD DO IT

though it shocks em i know.

woke real late, unabashedly. scrounged up the motivation to walk to the mall. where i typically find myself when avoiding something major, like studying for a midterm. so i bought some clothes on clearance and underoos. ate at the co-op, delicious salad did me good. quick stop for easter candy.. whopper eggs are addictive. the constant flow of sugar helped me get a good basis for the review sheet.

did some serious searching for famous people which is beyond hilarious to me. knowing what mchammer thinks about anything makes me so happy.

asked via text message what my values are.
had a conversation on the porch last night about passion.
thinking at some point it'll stroll by me. close enough to pull it to my side.

going home friday. not the glamorous, gone wild spring break i imagined. want to pick up a stand-by ticket anywhere. wake up on the beach. lay around proper. margarittas, no salt, the size of my head.

Look,
The world is in transition. I see it in bits and pieces but will never understand the big picture. The changes happening all around me. Sometimes it's too much.

stop little one

Nothing gets me going quite like geeking around on the internet.

The time is changing soon which means 8pm and the sun is out..
more ice cream eating
long night walks
biking and feeling my nose at the same time
exploring everything everywhere
My dreams are wild lately. I dreamed a Willy Wonka type man chatting to me in a toy store while I looked at 90% off valentine's day candy. Overwhelmed by Spring. Turns me into an useless wheel occasionally. I don't deny its bitterness. It just would be better with something sweet to follow.